Dare to Compare August 19, 2008
Posted by Babs O'Leary in Dating.trackback
My boyfriend in college was romantic. He was affectionate. He was thoughtful. He wanted nothing more than to run me baths (which, grody to the max, btw), give me massages or just generally pamper me in some sort of way. He also wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed and embarrassed me on more than one trip home to see the family. I would cringe when we would break out the trivial pursuit or some other game. I’ll never forget that one time we played pictionary. How does one seem dimwitted during pictionary??? Exactly.
My next boyfriend was the Ex. The Ex was smart. He could help me with my homework, program the computer and kick my family’s tail in whatever game they chose. I loved it. But the Ex wasn’t necessarily romantic. Don’t get me wrong he certainly had his moments (though I can’t think of any specifics at the moment), but he didn’t measure to my college boyfriend at all.
Do you think I ever mentioned to the Ex that my college boyfriend was far superior is matters of romance and affection? Do you think that I mentioned that the college boyfriend’s massage skills rivaled that of a massage school graduate? Do you think that I mentioned all the flowers, cards and songs I received? Hell to the no! I would never compare a current beau with a former one. That’s just rude.
Recently, I was talking with a potential and during the course of the conversation he felt the need to tell me precisely what “the girl he almost married” used to do in a particular situation (nothing inappropriate, get your mind out of the gutter). I sat in stunned silence as he babbled for a full minute about a woman that he hasn’t even been with for six or seven years. When he was finished all I could say was, “are you REALLY comparing me to an ex-girlfriend? Really?” I was so annoyed by that I abruptly ended the phone call.
Good people of blogland, let me tell you something, don’t you EVER compare your current mate with a past love. I don’t care if your ex invented saran wrap. You keep that sh!t to yourself. It’s natural to do a little comparing and contrasting in your head, but you should never, ever voice that sh!t. How would you feel if your mate did the same to you?
Applause! I went out once with a guy who had the audacity to tell me the last girl he dated wore a size 2. After I got over my shock I told his non-profit employed azz that the last guy I dated made 6 figures. It was our last date.
It’s very insensitive. I would have ended the call as well…..the nerve!
How rude! And lol @sundaze!
That is so tactless. You don’t voice that! You’re so right, Babs. Good riddance!
I hate when they ASK questions to try to measure themselves up with the last ex. If something happened before you.. it should not matter to you. Don’t ever ask me if you are the best at anything.. because you might not like the answer. SERIOUSLY!
Uh, not the best move, dude!
Funny thing about it all is that his ex is probably not thinking of him at ALL!
So, is this guy still a potential?
Babs, I’m with you, but I gotta admit, I’ve done it.. I’ve never been so overt as to tell current dude that former dude used to do xyz, but I know the first time I kiss a new guy, the first thing to pop in my mind is how different that kiss was from the last guy. I think it’s human nature, especially if the last guy had some extraordinary qualities *good or bad*.. Think about it in terms of drinks: We all remember where we were when we had that perfect [insert drink name here]. As soon as we go to a different spot and we order that same drink and it’s wack, all we can think about was how good that drink was at the last spot..